I have real bad news for most of you... the friends of the opposite sex you have by this point in your life, are all the real friends of the opposite sex you will ever have. Quit lying to yourself. That chick you met at the club during the office's Christmas Eve gathering is not your damn friend. As a matter of fact, if she wasn't so fine, you would have stopped talking to her the moment she started breaking down how her views on politics are based on astrology. If that didn't drive you away, then surely the fact that she talks to her cat should've been the straw to break the camel's back; and by talk, I mean engaging in meaningful discussions and the occasional debate (the shocking part is that according to her, the cat usually wins).So what the hell is it all about? Generally, the new opposite-sex friends you make are just associates of the opposite sex that you haven't engaged in relations with yet (and if you keep giving her the impression that she's your friend, you never will; but that's a different topic altogether). Yes, it's true. If not, then ask yourself why is it that you make it point to describe her to your real friends in terms like fine, gorgeous, pretty, etc. If she was truly your friend, then you would describe her just like you describe all your other friends; 'cool'. This is why your circle of close friends remain pretty consistent, while there's a constant rotation of peripheral opposite-sex friends. You tried to forge a friendship (actually, you tried to forge a friendship with benefits) and when that doesn't work out for whatever reason, you drop them like collateral damage.
Why do people tend to throw around the term friend so eagerly in the first place? Well it makes things a little less messy when these 'friends' slip in and out of your life; otherwise people would have to call it what it is - whoring. Ladies and gentlemen, if you make a new 'friend' every single time you enter and exit a club/bar/sporting event/church/places where whores like yourself are known to congregate/etc., then you are doing little more than whoring yourself out to the highest bidder (and by bidder, I mean those persons willing to overlook the flaws that have kept you single for so long in the first damn place). Which isn't a bad thing, necessarily.
The bad part comes when one of my genuinely platonic lady friends (yea I know; just let it go) introduces me to one of her new male friends. I'm usually about 95% sure she's either: A. screwing him, B. soon to be screwing him, or C. mentally screwing him over by misleading him to think he's going to get to screw her at a later date. This is always an awkward introduction because homie is generally looking at me like, 'I wonder if she's screwing him too?' Then after a maximum of a few months, homie disappears and my platonic friend has nothing good to say about him; which is unfortunate, because I had a good time whooping homie's ass in Madden when they would visit... but alas, we were all led on.
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