Sarah Palin: Definition of A 'C' Student Friday, October 3, 2008

I really try not to get too political because well, it's bullshit. No, for real it is. Going in to last night's vice presidential debate, all of the televised pundits (is it me, or does the word pundit sound like it should be a fighting word?) were advising that Joe Biden shouldn't come across as too smart and intellectually beatdown Sarah Palin (who is in strong running for MILF of the century). What the hell does that mean? See this is how I know politics is bullshit, because it throws everything we learned as kids out the window.

We were all taught to do our best when we were children. I can't speak for everyone, but I have no recollection of any of my teachers ever pulling me to the side and asking me to take a dive in a spelling bee because it would make little Timmy feel better about being a retard. Yet, they advised Biden not to be too hard on Palin. Lemme see if I got this straight: in order to be vice-president, then one need not show the incompetence of their opponent? Oh yea, I've seen this before - it's called bullshit!

So like a lot of you did last night, I watched the debate; and also the post-debate wrap-ups. I'm not sure what debate the pundits watched, but they made it seem like she held her own. That's not what I saw. First of all, at the beginning (like the first half-hour) she was visibly nervous, her voice was cracking, and she seemed slightly shaken when the conversation was starting to take a turn towards topics she had no knowledge of. On top of that, I was offended when she gave a 'shout out' to some damn grade school kids. I'm starting to feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone (or at least a good episode of Goosebumps). They couldn't handle Obama giving his wife some dap; how big of an issue would it have been if he got his black ass on t.v. talkin' 'bout some damn 'shout out'? But she gets a pass because she's white. No one else sees the irony of white people getting passes to say/do black shit publicly, when black people don't get those same passes?

I didn't even make it to the end of the debate, because for me it was that painful to watch. Palin came across as only moderately knowledgeable in certain areas, and scared shitless in mostly everything else. It was like watching a midget trying to win a fistfight by resorting to exclusively biting; not a good look.

But the most memorable part for me is when the moderator asked them what would happen if their running mate died while in office. For Obama, unless they Malcolm King-Evers him, it's not highly likely that he'll die during his term (though I hear they are arresting niggas in D.C.). But for McCain on the other hand, personally I think this cat died some time last year. They say death is at the door for some people; but for McCain, not only is death at his door, but death knows this dude keeps a spare key under the welcome mat, has already been inside, and is now exiting the premises with his ATM card and pin number. Anyone who thinks Palin can run the country is delusional, and is probably wearing those diapers for adults as we speak.

But alas, there was nothing left for me to do but roll a blunt slip into my pajamas, and dream about how I could've tried harder at being a 'C' student.