Black Man's Handbook to Dating: Rule WWW - Things Yo' Silly Behind Ought Not Be Doing Online Monday, August 17, 2009

A lot of you dudes, in your hastiness to be slick, are messing up the game for everyone. I've never been a fan of meeting women online per se. But Myspace/Facebook allows you to implement the 'friend of a friend' code (if I have to explain how that works, you may need to find one girlfriend and hope she never dumps you). I'm a huge proponent of ethics; there has to be a code or there's chaos... and chaos between men and women leads to slashed tires, unavailable cell phone calls, and that vaguely familiar black Camry rolling past with an even more familiar woman's voice screaming out '... gone and be with that bitch then!'

Anyone?

Begin.

Stop setting up separate Facebook/Myspace accounts that use different names, but the same damn picture. Really fam? Really? First of all, if you think your girl hasn't mentioned it and therefore she doesn't know about it, then you clearly know nothing about women. They're all private investigators. I know chicks who can't find the Sports section of the newspaper, but can go through your browser's cookies and figure out the name of your favorite porn star.

Her not saying anything is not the equivalent of ignorance to the facts. Matter of fact, you might want to check her cookies.

Moving right along.

You got to stop 'Super Poking' these broads then immediately writing on their wall 'HA HA HA! I just Super Poked you!', and thinking your girl (who is also on your friends list) ain't gone come see you bout that. There's dumb, and then there's LOL-Smiley-Frickin'-Face dumb.

Another thing that's catching a lot of playas up is that whole relationship status option of 'It's Complicated'. See to you it may be a little foggy, but I'll bet a dime to a dollar it's relatively clear-cut in the mind of the woman you living with fool!

Also, slightly related to that... don't put your relationship status as 'Open', when it's closed as hell. Real talk; that'll get your shit sat on the curb, and then you got to break back in the house to retrieve your PS2, but that don't matter cause she done set the games on damn fire, and let the dog chew on the controllers, so you still out some money (anyone?).

Lastly, but not leastly, you dudes need to quit sending yourself off. I got a gang of women on my friends lists that I may chop it up with when I'm bored at work (also known as being unemployed). But some of you dudes, from the instant a chick you vaguely knew in high school/college accept your little friend request, get to planning trips out to the West Coast and whatnot. Here's a new rule: if you got to leave the state to maybe possibly potentially get some play (though we both know that you won't), then you may want to consider working on your interpersonal communication skills... you know, how folks used to meet women back in the day.

And now if you will excuse me... I got walls to write on, women to poke, and statuses to update.