Not Cool Tyra, Not Cool At All Monday, September 8, 2008

I occasionally glance at America's Next Top Model. There I said it. Do I watch for the competition? No. How about the various issues that can arouse from a bunch of egocentric model-type chicks sharing a living space? Nope, not that either. I watch because the broads on that show have a tendency to stroll around scantily clad as if nobody's watching. But I'm watching. I'm watching.

So not being a huge fanatic of the series, I'm usually clueless about the different subplots and power plays that take place during the show (thanks to a tip from a friend, the show is best enjoyed with t.v. on mute). However, I was channel surfing during a break from the Bears game and what was the first thing I hear come flying out of one of these broads' mouth? 'I was born a male...' WTF?!

Really, Tyra? Really? First of all I don't think that shit was cool. Not even a little bit. Did I mention I watch the show to see chicks in their draws, and not to see chicks with balls (and since that rhymes, it will become my protest slogan against the show). I felt visually raped. Now given that I grew up during the Springer Era, I've become quite good at spotting a dude that's pretending to be a woman; but this chick on the show blurred that line a little too close to my comfort zone.

Now fortunately for me, I arrived on the channel just in time to hear him/her 'manly proclamation' before I had the chance to actually get a good look at him/her (which could have caused all sorts of problems for my sanity had it been the other way around). I mean sure I know it's a dude now, but what about all the other men in America watching the show (with the mute button on obviously; if we wanted to listen to women talking, we would go meet some). This move was as inconsiderate as a prostitute asking if she can spend the night because it's raining outside (I know you can afford an umbrella; I just paid you).

I have nothing against the 'transgendered' (except none of my kids will be allowed to date any nor become one, less they want to be publicly drowned), but when I turn on the t.v. to see dumb chicks with huge racks, I expect for that promise to be delivered in full. This was an all-time low for television; and since I know the inner workings of how the universe keeps its perfect balance, I can't help but foresee an incurable yeast infection in Tyra's immediate future.

And yes, I turned back to the game and tried to forget all that I had just saw. Go Bears.