My Knowledge of BET Makes Me Smarter Than You Monday, October 19, 2009

I was at a cookout recently and somehow the topic of BET came up; don't ask me how... maybe the fact that we were eating chicken, drinking liquor, and listening to Gucci Mane inspired us to discuss other pertinent aspects of black culture. At any rate, one of my guys goes on a rampage that since being sold to a non-African American entity, BET has went down the crapper.

All in agreement so far.

But then he goes on to say that it has only been a few years since this selling of BET took place. I paused for a minute.

Was I in the jig version of the Twilight Zone? I responded that it has been more than just 'a few' years since Plymouth Rock landed on BET; but with a confidence that shook my belief in some shit I thought I knew for sure, he replied that it has only been a few years (a few meaning three, four at most). I looked around for at least one other colored person to back me up (because I expected all of our white friends to stare uncomfortably at the floor; which they did), but they all shook their heads in agreement with him.

Had it all been just a terribly prophetic dream I had back in 2000 that BET was sold to Viacom? Did it in fact not happen until 2006, meaning I had time to warn my fellow Negroids of our impending doom and chose not to? Had I taken the blue pill after all? Will there be enough chicken left after the cookout to have for lunch the next day?

A couple of days later (after the itis from the cookout wore off) I did the most astonishing thing; I decided to read about it (cause normally I don't be reading for fun). And indeed (and as usual) I was right and the rest of these fools were misinformed (but that has never prevented anyone from opening their mouth to give a firm opinion).

Now I nearly wrote this incident off as me hanging out with a bunch of people who know nothing (which I sometimes do in my efforts to feel smarter and/or gooder about myself), but I decided to bring up BET in random conversations with people whose intellect I respect. Believe it or not, most of them got it wrong. The consensus was that it happened back in 2005 at the earliest.

What in the Dixie-Birth of a Nation-Diff'rent Strokes hell has this country done to the Negro? It's been nearly a decade since BET sold us out and yet somehow in the collective minds of the average spook I spoke with, it's been a few years tops. I mean I know my attention span is short, only because I smoke weed and hate listening to other people while they're talking, but I will never forget the day Robert L. Johnson admitted that his name was Toby so massa would stop hitting him sold BET to Viacom (I bet some of you will also fail to remember that he backed Hillary and not Obama).

And check this out if you're really interested in how greasy BET is nowadays (or maybe you just want to read a good old-fashioned airing out).

Shit like this makes me so upset, that I'll probably barely enjoy the next episode of Frankie and Neffe.